It’s strange how some time away from day-to-day reality can completely change your mindset. I’ve been back in London for a week now after my 11 day holiday followed by a couple of days in my home town.
Those of you who follow my blog will know that I was on a total downer before I went away. I was fed up with everything – where I’m living, my work and my friends and to top things off a lot of my hair had fallen out.
Whereas before I had wallowed, I’ve now come back feeling that things could be SO much worse and I feel thankful and content. Yes, I wasn’t entirely happy but now I’m taking steps to change what I’m not happy with.
My hair still hasn’t grown back but I have a doctor’s appointment to investigate this and have purchased some really convincing clip in hair to disguise it. I’m grateful for my health and have stopped whining on about the Alopecia.
I had two flat viewings yesterday and have decided to put an offer down on one of them. I’m pretty certain it won’t be accepted as it’s a lot below the asking price and the agent told me two offers had already been make at the full asking price but thought it was worth a go. I’ve registered with a few more agents to get some more viewings booked in.
The internal job hunt is on hold for now, until I move into my new property. I have come to realise that not taking voluntary redundancy was probably the best decision (although it didn’t feel like it at the time). A few people I know are really struggling to find work and those who have, have had to take pay-cuts.
Having hidden my profile from the dating website I was using, and the fact I’m not talking to any guys at the moment (well there is one, but I will explain in a future post) meant that I was on my own on Valentines day.
Every year when it comes to Valentines I do tend to wallow. As per usual, my Facebook news feed was rammed full of photos of flowers and romantic meals and status updates involved “gorgeous boyfriends/soul mates” etc etc. Bunches of flowers were delivered to work from doting partners.
I found myself accidentally gate crashing my flat mate and her boyfriend’s romantic meal for two in my flat. Strange, how you’d chosen to do that when you share a place with three others? But nevermind. I had my dinner then gave them some privacy by spending the rest of the evening in the confines of my bedroom.
Weirdly, this year I didn’t actually care about the fact I’m single. I’m no longer proactively looking to meet anyone at the moment, I have other things to keep me busy. (This means no funny date stories for now, sorry!)
It did make me chuckle when my mother gave me a ghastly cat charm for my pandora bracelet for my birthday. My brother joked that its because I’m on my way to becoming a crazy cat woman. My mother, who is genuinely naive, said it was a Chinese lucky cat. I swiftly used the gift receipt to change it for a normal diamanté charm.
I wasn’t even upset by the gate crashing/gooseberry situation, I was just irritated and this spurred me on even more to ramp up my flat hunt so I can move out and have my own space.
On Friday, I went for belated birthday drinks with some of my friends. This was yet another learning curve for me. Before my holiday I wrote about how I felt that most people didn’t care. I learnt that SOME people don’t care, they ignore me unless they are at a loose end and every contact we have it on their terms.
My friends who made the effort to turn up on Friday are people I know are my real friends. On my way home that night, I deleted three numbers from my phone. These are people who are fair-weather friends, ones that I no longer need in my life.
I’m not sure how long this focussed, serene, forward thinking mindset will last but I’m hoping it will be a while…
I always find it cathartic to delete people from facebook or my phone. After all in a world where we are bombarded with communication it’s good to know who are true friends. And if you read my “think pink” post I decided to have a happy single valentines too
Absolutely. I just got tired of making all the effort, real friendship shouldn’t be one-sided. Funny how I’ve deleted the numbers & they’ve not even noticed… Guess that says it all!
Your blog is one of those blogs where I look forward in reading new posts. Blog and bloggers who write as it is has always gained my attention and interest – like you, I blog anonymously, and it gives that freedom to say it as it is – it’s priceless. We have many similarities but from different ends of the system.
There is a time in life where you naturally establish a filtering process to screen everything and everyone in your life – either its ‘in’ or ‘out’ type of filter. I hope this little break is the starting point for you to establish this filtering process.
I look forward to how things pan out in your future posts – and I’d like to congratulate you on make good progress.
Thanks! I spoke to my friend on the phone today & was saying about how coming back from holiday has made me see everything in a different light.
Whereas before I was so keen to meet someone to be with long term, my main goal now is to find & buy a flat ASAP. My recent boredom has lured me back to Internet dating but I’m by no means taking it as seriously as I was before and need a distraction whilst my social life has taken a nose dive…
How cathartic. The cat is hideous. Sorry to your mum. I bought myself daffodils for Valentines. Likewise I didn’t much care about it this year.
It’s truely hideous! The worse part was when I went into pandora to exchange it & the shop assistant asked me whether I wanted a different cat charm… Erm no, I think I’ll have a normal one please! Lol
Yes, make room for things/people that will fit you better. Love the new attitude, it always makes a difference!
Exactly right, as Matthew Hussey says… Find people who add value, not take it away… So true
If you have anything to do with cats, just remember, it’s better to be Catwoman than to be a cat lady.