It’s strange how some time away from day-to-day reality can completely change your mindset. I’ve been back in London for a week now after my 11 day holiday followed by a couple of days in my home town.
Those of you who follow my blog will know that I was on a total downer before I went away. I was fed up with everything – where I’m living, my work and my friends and to top things off a lot of my hair had fallen out.
Whereas before I had wallowed, I’ve now come back feeling that things could be SO much worse and I feel thankful and content. Yes, I wasn’t entirely happy but now I’m taking steps to change what I’m not happy with.
My hair still hasn’t grown back but I have a doctor’s appointment to investigate this and have purchased some really convincing clip in hair to disguise it. I’m grateful for my health and have stopped whining on about the Alopecia.
I had two flat viewings yesterday and have decided to put an offer down on one of them. I’m pretty certain it won’t be accepted as it’s a lot below the asking price and the agent told me two offers had already been make at the full asking price but thought it was worth a go. I’ve registered with a few more agents to get some more viewings booked in.
The internal job hunt is on hold for now, until I move into my new property. I have come to realise that not taking voluntary redundancy was probably the best decision (although it didn’t feel like it at the time). A few people I know are really struggling to find work and those who have, have had to take pay-cuts.
Having hidden my profile from the dating website I was using, and the fact I’m not talking to any guys at the moment (well there is one, but I will explain in a future post) meant that I was on my own on Valentines day.
Every year when it comes to Valentines I do tend to wallow. As per usual, my Facebook news feed was rammed full of photos of flowers and romantic meals and status updates involved “gorgeous boyfriends/soul mates” etc etc. Bunches of flowers were delivered to work from doting partners.
I found myself accidentally gate crashing my flat mate and her boyfriend’s romantic meal for two in my flat. Strange, how you’d chosen to do that when you share a place with three others? But nevermind. I had my dinner then gave them some privacy by spending the rest of the evening in the confines of my bedroom.
Weirdly, this year I didn’t actually care about the fact I’m single. I’m no longer proactively looking to meet anyone at the moment, I have other things to keep me busy. (This means no funny date stories for now, sorry!)
It did make me chuckle when my mother gave me a ghastly cat charm for my pandora bracelet for my birthday. My brother joked that its because I’m on my way to becoming a crazy cat woman. My mother, who is genuinely naive, said it was a Chinese lucky cat. I swiftly used the gift receipt to change it for a normal diamanté charm.
I wasn’t even upset by the gate crashing/gooseberry situation, I was just irritated and this spurred me on even more to ramp up my flat hunt so I can move out and have my own space.
On Friday, I went for belated birthday drinks with some of my friends. This was yet another learning curve for me. Before my holiday I wrote about how I felt that most people didn’t care. I learnt that SOME people don’t care, they ignore me unless they are at a loose end and every contact we have it on their terms.
My friends who made the effort to turn up on Friday are people I know are my real friends. On my way home that night, I deleted three numbers from my phone. These are people who are fair-weather friends, ones that I no longer need in my life.
I’m not sure how long this focussed, serene, forward thinking mindset will last but I’m hoping it will be a while…