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In less than 48 hours I will be in Dubai (nope, not emigrating unfortunately, just going for a weeks holiday) so thought I’d take this opportunity for a mini-rant before I go.
Over the last three weeks or so I seem to have taken an unintentional hiatus from dating, dates simply dried up and flaked out and I didn’t do my usual “conveyor belt” situation where I line up a guy for every time someone drops off. Instead I’ve been thinking & re-evaluating (possibly a little too much).
The guys I have been on dates with since my dating mission began late September have largely been pleasant, some went on to second and third dates, but none beyond that. What did these guys lack? Some were either good-looking, funny and charming but all lacked what I like to call “the butterfly effect”.
At one point it almost felt like I was agreeing to go on these dates for the sake of it, or worryingly, to give me ammunition for this blog. None of this list of guys made me want to check my phone every two minutes in case they text, and certainly none of them gave me goosebumps or butterflies when I met them. If anything, many of them irritated me or made me feel indifferent.
Based on this I’ve decided to take a break from online dating. I’ve deleted my profile from two of the paid websites so the only active one I have is on the free sites. I haven’t given up on finding Prince Charming but feel I’m more likely to find him via other means, so I will continue with singles parties and speed dating events as they have produced some success stories for my friends.
One of these success stories is my friend who met a guy at the padlock and key event we went to a couple of weeks back. She has now been on two dates with him and things are going well (despite the minor glitch, when he decided to take a 20 minute phone call during their second date).
Most single girls I talk to fall into two camps – those who are on a mission to meet Prince Charming (they are relentless in their quest) and those who are relaxed (perhaps a little too relaxed) and too picky. I think I fall into the second camp. I don’t want to be desperate but at the same time, in 10 years time I don’t want to be like the 41 year old single cashier who works in one of my branches (I have scary visions of this happening).
Weirdly, the French chef I went on a date with last year (he bought me a jar of Vegemite on our first date and tried to convince me it tasted better than Marmite – I disagreed) has found me on the dating website. He sent me an email asking what he had done wrong to make me not agree to date two.
In reality he hadn’t done anything wrong. Well, apart from tell me he only wanted to meet up with me for a second date if I stayed out with him all night and took the first tube home in the morning. I didn’t even live in London at this time so thought he was a total creep for even suggesting it. He keeps sending me messages like “can’t believe you are still single, its criminal to be so cute”.
So… am I feeling desperate enough to agree to another date with this guy? Hell no. Instead I will continue my quest in searching for butterflies, even if they are not full grown butterflies…just someone who genuinely gives me that feeling that I can’t wait for the next time we meet rather than secretly hoping my date cancels so I can go out drinking with my friends from work.
I am capable of having butterflies or in the case of my ex, almost electric shocks when I used to get texts or calls from him. And this is probably why I’m finding it difficult to settle for any less. Lets just hope when I do find Prince Charming he doesn’t turn out to be anything like the manipulative sociopath that I fell for last time.
In the meantime I’m on holiday for a week to Dubai – I wonder whether it will be anything like Sex In the City 2? Either way, I hope to come back with at least a couple of funny stories for you all 
